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Advising someone who has lost motivation and passion for everything in life might seem tricky or dicey,Stefano Ganddini, a Black-belt life optimizer AKA cold shower guy and Author of Collegetopia.co. has this to say to you:Read Also: 9 Important Things Men Want In Marriage
Everything you believe about passion is probably wrong.
We’ve grown up in a society that has romanticized the shit out of this idea following your passion.
We’ve been told that the only way to be happy and successful is to “find our passion.” They say that if you just follow your passion and do what you love, the money will follow.
Steve Jobs once said:
You’ve got to find what you love…. [T]he only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking, and don’t settle.”
So, it’s no wonder most people get stuck trying to figure out what their passion is, thinking that once they figure it out, then they’ll be off to the races.
But here’s the secret…
Passion isn’t found, it’s CREATED.
If you look at how passionate people—people like Steve Jobs, for example—really got started in their careers, what you find might surprise you.
In fact, most of the people we look up to who are doing things they’re passionate about did not start their careers by simply following their passion.
In the years leading up to his founding of Apple, for example, Steve Jobs was anything but passionate about starting a technology company. In the months leading up to the start of his visionary company, Jobs was nothing more than a conflicted young man. He had dropped out of college, gone to India on a spiritual journey, and then spent some time living at a commune.
There’s no doubt that Steve Jobs was a brilliant man and it’s clear that he eventually ended up loving what he did. But how he got there is less clear.
And whether it was by luck or intelligence or hard work is beyond the point.
The point is that it wasn’t by following his passion.
The only thing that’s clear from Jobs’ story is that simply following his passion (traveling? spiritual enlightenment? something else?) never would’ve gotten him to where he ended up.
And this is exactly why “follow your passion” advice is—more often than not—terrible advice.
Not only is “follow your passion” vague and unhelpful, but it also makes a very big assumption—that we all have a single, pre-existing passion (or some sort of “life calling”) in the first place.
While there’s no way for me to concretely prove this one way or the other, I’m not convinced this is true. I simply can’t believe that there’s just one single path we’re destined to take in our lives.
I mean, sure, there might be a small portion of the population that has found their life’s calling at an early age (e.g. most athletes), but they’re the anomalies. And even if we were all born with some pre-existing life calling, then what the hell are we supposed to do until we figure out what that calling is?
Instead of floating around aimlessly until you find your life’s calling, I think it’s more productive to assume you can have multiple callings throughout your life and there are multiple paths you can take.
Who wants to do one thing for the rest of their life, anyway?
Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to figure out your “passion,” the one thing you want to do for the rest of your life, and instead just start following your curiosities.
Focus on getting started on something—anything—for now.
At the end of the day, finding what you love comes down to a process of elimination, and you probably won’t get it right on the first try.
But that’s okay, because with each attempt you will learn something new from which you’ll be able to iterate.
It’s about taking action, and then correcting course.
Once you’ve found something that you truly enjoy, and you want to become truly great at it, you must develop what—author of So Good They Can’t Ignore You—calls a “craftsman mindset.”
Simply put, the craftsman mindset is an obsessive focus on the quality of work you produce.
The craftsman mindset forces you to stop asking whether or not you’ve found your passion, and instead to put your head down and focus on honing your craft.
It is the single most important ingredient to creating a passionate life because with a craftsman mindset, you could, hypothetically, turn anything into your passion.
But becoming a craftsman is about more than just putting in the hours.
You will have to put in the hours, regardless, but what’s more important than how long you practice is what type of practice you do.
Because if you just show up and work hard, you’ll eventually hit a performance plateau. You’ll be better than someone with no experience at all, and you’ll probably reach an “acceptable” level, but you’ll never become truly great.
In order to become truly great at something, you must practice deliberately, which requires you to constantly challenge your own abilities and to seek feedback from others.
While amateurs choose to stick to what’s familiar when they practice, pros know that it’s only through systematically stretching their abilities and receiving feedback that they’ll continue to improve their craft.
If you want to become great at what you do (and consequently, passionate about what you do), you have to learn to embrace the mental strain of deliberate practice.
No matter what you do, anytime you start something new, eventually the novelty and enthusiasm will wear off. This is where most people plateau.
But if you want to become truly great, you have to push through this, even when it’s not fun anymore.
Because once you get past that plateau and you separate yourself from the herd, that’s when good things start to happen. And when good things start to happen, that’s when things start to get really fun…
That’s when people will start to notice you and recognize you for your work.
That’s when new opportunities and possibilities will open up that you didn’t even know existed before.
That’s when you’ll have the skill and ability to do things that most people can’t.
And that, my friend, is when you’ll become extremely passionate about your work.
In other words, it’s skill development and success that fuel passion, not the other way around.
So, if you approach every single new project or hobby with the single goal of determining whether or not it’s your “one true passion,” I promise you will neverfind your passion.
No one just woke up one day and suddenly knew, “This is the one thing I want to do for the rest of my life!”
That’s just not how it works (at least not for 99% of the population).
You can’t expect to feel some sort of deep, burning passion for something right from the get-go.
Developing a passion for something, just like developing a relationship with someone, takes time (and a lot of hard work).
And as a few others have already mentioned, motivation is never the problem.
Motivation is a nice-to-have (and there are ways to increase your motivation), but it’s not necessary.
No one is motivated 100% of the time.
So again, this is not a motivation problem. It’s a strategy problem.
If you want to become more active in your life and create a more passionate life, you have to stop relying on motivation.
Motivation is an emotion, which means that it comes and goes, just like all other emotions. Knowing this, you can’t let your emotions dictate your actions.
You have to learn how to force yourself to take action even when you don’t feel motivated. You have to learn how to take action no matter how you feel.
Instead of asking, “how can I stay more motivated?” you should be asking, “how can I force myself to take action even when I don’t feel motivated?”
That’s the better question.
Here are my top 3 strategies for forcing yourself to take action (without relying on motivation).
1. Create leverage.
Instead of relying solely on your limited amount of willpower, create external pressures that will force you to take action.
For example, if your goal is to set up a blog by the end of the month, you can tell a friend that you will pay them $100 if you don’t follow through. With a little bit of money in the game, you’ll create massive leverage and ensure that you’ll take action.
Another example of leverage in action:
Last year I wanted to try waking up at 5:30 AM every morning so that I could work on my blog before going to work. I forced myself to wake up by scheduling this tweet (see image above) to go out if I didn’t – Stefano Ganddini
In my own case ,I decided to turn my alarm clock for 4a.m which is prayer and meditation for and hour ,after which I go for another 45 mins run which set my mind ready for each day.
It doesn’t have to be money, but the point is that you have to put something on the line with a consequence that you’re not willing to pay.
This type of external accountability will take you a lot further than sheer willpower. It requires a small amount of willpower in the short-term, but will greatly reduce the amount of willpower needed over the long-term because you’re no longer relying on willpower anymore. You’re basically giving yourself no choice but to follow through.
2. Work in time blocks.
Block off chunks of time on your calendar dedicated to working on a specific task. Doing this prevents any wasted time thinking about what you’re going to do and when you’re going to do it, because you’ve already made these decisions beforehand. Psychology studies have shown that the simple act of putting time on your calendar makes it more likely you’ll follow through.
Then, when you actually sit down to do your work, set an alarm on your phone. This is such a simple thing to do and one of the most powerful productivity tips I know of. Seeing the countdown of the timer will force you to stay focused.
Finally, as you begin working, tell yourself, “I am going to work on this for [X amount of time]. For the next [X amount of time] this is my whole world.”
Protip: put your phone on airplane mode, close all tabs you don’t need, and use apps like.
3. Remember the 40% rule.
Navy Seals are known for being the toughest soldiers on the planet and one of the mental frameworks they live by is known as the 40% rule. This scientifically proven mental framework states the following:
When your mind is telling you that you’re done and you’ve reached your limit, you’re actually only 40% done.
In other words, when you think you’re tired and you think you’re done, you still have another 60% left in your reserve tank.
I love this because it confirms what I’ve always believed–that we are all capable of doing so much more than we think we can. But you have to learn to ignore that little voice inside your head and force yourself to take action.
People think passion means “fun” and “effortless.”
But the word passion comes from Latin root “pati,” which means “to suffer.”
There’s a reason why it’s called the “Passion” of Christ and not the “Happy Fun Times” of Christ…
If you’re serious about developing a passion for something, you have to be willing to put in the work and suffer for it.
Pursuing a passion is not easy. It takes hard work.
If you only want the benefits without the costs, then what you actually want is a fantasy.
But if you want this—like really really want this—and you’re willing to put in the work, I promise you it’ll be worth it.
It’ll be SO worth it.
I did some addition to the initial writeup but most of this writing was done by Stefano Ganddini