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An Anonymous lady has shared her almost immediate regrets after Marriage and its not funny.Read Also: Lady Who Was In Coma For 3 Days Narrates Her Near Death Experience(Read)
I did, because I wasn’t a ‘virgin’.
Imagine being intimate with your husband on the first night, for the first time ever.
He’s constantly looking down to check something rather than in your eyes.
Then sighs deeply, thrusts a couple of times to finish, and immediately runs out of the room.
He did return after a couple of minutes, visibly trying hard to control his anger.
Him : “You’re a used disgusting woman who has spoiled my life.”
Me : “What?”
Him : “You’re not a virgin. I couldn’t see any blood. You’re a cheat.”
Me : “What the fuuuuuuuu..”
That was the first conversation I had as a newly wedded girl minutes after I lost my super duper precious virginity with my ‘perfect’ husband, handpicked by my parents.
First night, and I was made to feel first like a prostitute, then like a cheat, and finally like damaged commodity. It was like his world came crashing down.
I tried to actually give him basic 10th standard level sex education. That some girls don’t have hymens and sometimes it just breaks from normal physical activities.
But no. For him, it was like ‘seal broken, product faulty’. Too bad we don’t live in a tribe where a bride’s virginity is a topic of open discussion the next morning.
All my poor husband could do was huff and puff and act irate. The whole family was concerned how he went from being super excited to super irate in one night.
They asked me, but how could I say their ideal son was only excited about uncorking his new trophy, not be wedded & start sharing a life with a girl. This went on for 2 whole months.
Not even eye contact with me for compassion, but only interaction was arguments. Actually, we did have sex once during that time. I think he just couldn’t control his excitement to a female body lying vulnerably on his bed.
It had nothing to do with me because he didn’t look at my face or talk to me before, during or after. I had gone along with it because I thought finally my efforts are paying off and he is normal now. Too bad.
I had to literally have him verify the little hymen factoid with 3 gynaecologist. One of them even scolded my husband.
Not only he had no trust in a girl he was already married to and it wasn’t even about a perceived ‘lie’ about my sexual history, he actually had the attitude of a cheated commodity owner.
I was so disgusted. Am I no more than an iPhone that can be jailbreaked?
Even if I wasn’t a virgin I would have owned up to it & still not let him objectify me! After 2 months I finally lost it & yelled at him to go hire a detective to dig up my past if he doesn’t trust my word. That’s when he let it go.
At least in front of me, I won’t be surprised if he has actually hired one. But by now the damage has been done. I now know how he perceives our intimate moments.
They are not ‘bonding experiences’ to him as they are to me but as achievements or rewards, no matter what he says now. (Which isn’t much. He just chants ‘I’m sorry, give me another chance’ like a whiny baby.)
I has been 6 months to our marriage now.
There are so many other problems, like how I can’t even buy a coffee mug without my father-in-law’s approval.
How his mother shares such a codepedent bond with her son and just won’t let go. It’s like we aren’t a couple, but I’m the third wheel in their relationship. It is suffocating our already damaged relationship.
But if my husband can’t see that, even I don’t have the energy & inclination. How there is no privacy and all the women are always scouting my belongings, how they have dumped all the household chore on me since the first week like I’m an unpaid maid.
Honestly, if I wasn’t for the ‘what will people say’ phenomenon, I would have filed for a divorce. My parents keep telling me to adjust because unless he’s hitting me regularly, there’s no reason.
Either this relationship will kill me, or I will kill it. Since the latter isn’t happening, the former will.