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I recently discovered my wife had been having an affair for five years. We are attempting reconciliation. I traveled extensively for work, and she is as stay at home mom (although not as much as I had thought), so it was easy for her to have long absences from home without my knowledge. Here are the methods that she used:Read Also: See What Happened After Girl Saw Her Uncle And Little Niece Alone In Upper Room(True Story)
- She and her paramour both used Yahoo messenger with fake accounts. He set up everything using two layers of fake e-mails. After every chat, she would “remove” the account from her phone app. This allowed her to keep it installed, but look like it had never been used. With hindsight, she chatted with the paramour so much that her fake Yahoo user name was screen-burned into her phone. This also gave her the ability to use any PC to chat with the paramour using the web based chat.
- The paramour was also married, and he definitely took more risks on his side. He too traveled for work. So, he would usually tell his wife that his trip was 1 – 2 days longer than he told her (they are in VA and we are in NC). He would then come to Charlotte, check into a hotel, and then my wife would come to see him. Eventually they became more brazen; she would have him into our marital bed the night before, then go to see him in the hotel during the day. This was part of his eventual undoing. He would make the reservation under a fake name, but ultimately had to pay with a real credit card.
- On the rare occasions when they talked on the phone, they always prearranged the call via Yahoo Messenger, then he would call my wife using *67 to block the number. I trusted my wife implicitly, so I wasn’t checking her phone records anyway, but again, with hindsight, there were several calls per month from an unknown number of 30 – 90 minutes in length. This again was part of both cheaters undoing. This approach blocked the numbers on my wife’s phone bill, but not his. When his wife became suspicious, she contacted me, and I was able to corroborate the unknown calls from my number with known calls on his phone bill to my wife’s number.
- They did extensive gaslighting. This was a former flame of my wife from college. They would send very infrequent e-mails to each other on their legitimate e-mail addresses, bemoaning how it had been 1 – 2 years since they had been in touch, asking them to remind each other of how old their kids were, etc. In fact, they were chatting over 90 times per day.
- He drew a picture for her of a park then had visited together in South Carolina (as far as I know, their one and only deviation from their normal house/hotel ritual when I was out of town). She had it framed and hung it on a wall in the hallway between our two children’s bedrooms. This should have been the red flag for me. In 17 years of marriage, every single picture that hangs on walls and isn’t of our family — whether it be painting, poster, or photo, is of a place we have visited on vacation, so that she can be reminded of the experience. This one drawing showed up one day and I asked her about it. She said she had gone to an art fair with a friend and just liked it, so she bought it. I trusted her implicitly during our entire marriage until the discovery of the affair, so as odd as that seemed, I never questioned it.
I hope this helps.