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Never, ever put yourself in a position where you have to beg for things and affection from others.
The story below was shared on social media by Ranjetta Poobathy a biotechnogy graduate who resides in Malaysia.
A housemate once inched herself into my study schedule.
I study better alone, but I cut some slack for her, being housemates and all that. She pledged to share all her materials, notes, assignments and reports with me as long as I shared mine. I agreed.
We scheduled regular one-hour study sessions, interspersed liberally with chats that almost always meandered back to stories about her childhood abuse and neglect, as well as her battle with asthma. I sympathised with her. A lot.
However, being a naturally suspicious and fastidious person, I did not borrow any material from her. I wrote my own notes and finished all assignments myself. On the other hand, she visited my study table almost daily for my assignments.
An assignment involving C++ popped up at the end of the semester. Each student was given a set of 20 questions that were supposed to be solved in one month using the programme on a PC. I did not own a PC at that point, and the computers on campus were not equipped with the programme.
Guess who had a PC with the C++ programme installed?
Unused to asking things from people, I forced a smile on my face and requested permission to use her PC. She declined, stating that her PC had issues. She offered her paper instead, stating that the report will be ready in a week’s time. I agreed, fully trusting her words.
A week turned into two, and I had no sighting of the report at all. Meanwhile, James Blunt sang his heart out from her locked room, his sweet voice haunting the house from speakers equipped to her PC.
The month flashed by. It was three days before the deadline.
I returned from lunch with another friend. We lounged on the sofa. This friend knew that I was distressed about the impending report, but she respected the arrangement I had with my housemate.
My housemate chose to march down the stairs to our sofa, with the report in her hand, at that precise moment.
“I have completed the report, but I don’t think I am ready to give it to you. I am afraid I will need more notes and lab reports from you, since a lot of hard work went into this.”
I stared at her, unbelieving, mouth agape.
My friend, a firecracker of a person, immediately leapt to her feet.
“Ranjetta, what is wrong with you? Why are you begging for things from this person? I have the report in my bag. Come and get it now.”
I just followed my friend up the stairs, dumbstruck at the whole situation.
As she handed the report to me, my friend stared at me in the eye.
“Friends do not let friends beg, Ranjetta. Remember that.”
A few relationships had to be sacrificed in order for me to fully understand this message. Nobody in their right state of mind would make a friend or a loved one beg for things, let alone for love and affection.