To many getting married and having kids is an ultimate goal in life,but for aunty Sandi,its quiet different as she enjoyed every bit of her singled-om.
Charrisa Enget Continued ‘My great aunt Sandi is 76 and she’s never been married‘
She’s a very charismatic woman. She was beautiful when she was younger and she still has that mischievous sparkle in her eyes. My aunt had many boyfriends throughout her life but never settled with any of them. Everyone always wondered why she never got married. They speculated of course, but no one ever asked her.
Until my sister did.
My great aunt started out by saying she never wanted to get married when she was younger. Life was too much fun. She traveled to India and Europe with her friends and lived in London for a while.
She had boyfriends along the way, but she never liked any of them enough to want to spend her life with them. My aunt was proposed to 5 times by 5 different men. She got engaged to one of them, which she quickly broke it off with after reconsidering.
She lived with roommates when she was younger, but she’s lived alone the majority of her 76 years of life.
My sister asked if my aunt thought it was better or worse to be single throughout life.
Sandi said “Well, I’ve certainly had more adventures than my siblings who all got married. I traveled often when I was younger and I experienced so many wonderful things. I lived in London and Norway while my sister was raising children in a small house in North Dakota. I met so many amazing people and experienced so many different cultures which is a part of my life I really loved.
However, my lack of family meant I spent a lot of holidays alone. Thanksgiving, Easter, and Christmas are all holidays most people spend with their families. Sure, I’d get invited over on Christmas Eve and Day for dinner, but most of the holiday season I’d spend by myself. I never had children to come visit me or a husband to spend time with. I did have other single friends that I’d always get together with, though.
On the other hand, my lack of family saved me a lot of pain and trouble. A lot of my friends went through very painful divorces. They’re single now, like me, but they carry a burden that I’ll never have. I’ve had friends who have had spouses suddenly die or who have suddenly left them. Other friends had children who developed drug problems, went to jail, or died overdosing on drugs or getting into car accidents. Not having a family saved me from a lot of excruciatingly painful experiences.
Also, my lack of a husband allowed me to have very close friendships. My siblings had few friends and none of them had friendships as close as I did. When you raise a family, you’re so busy that close friendships have to be sacrificed. It’s something a lot of people don’t realize you have to give up. I’m very thankful for the numerous and wonderful friendships I’ve had throughout my life. I wouldn’t have been able to have them without being single. There wouldn’t have been enough time.
As I’ve grown older, a lot of my friends’ spouses have suddenly died or left them. They ‘re suddenly alone and they don’t know what to do. They feel that something is missing in their lives. For me, I’ve always been this way and I’m happy. I don’t feel my life is missing anything. I didn’t have to go through loss.
People have asked me throughout my life “When are you going to get married?” Even now, at the age of 76, they still ask if I want to get married. The answer is no. I’m comfortable like this. I’ve lived alone my whole life and I’ll continue to do so. I couldn’t imagine getting married right now.
If I had to do it over again, I think I’d still remain single. However, I might adopt some children in my 40’s. I like kids and I think I would have made a great mom. But I’ve had a good life, I can’t complain.
Overall, I can’t say if it’s better to remain single or get married. For me, being single was really good. Many of my friends wish they’d never been married. A lot of my friends can’t imagine living a life without their partner. Both sides have their pros and cons. I guess it depends on the person and the circumstances life throws at them.”