A Middle-Aged Lady Name withhold has come out on social media to reveal how lack of pre-marital sex is ruining her marriage.Read Also: 7 Questions You Should Ask Your Partner Before Getting Married
The incompatibility is killing me. I have thought of getting divorced several times because of this issue.
Same background. We were both virgins when we got married, at 23 and 28. We talked about sex before marriage, but because we are both somewhat religious, we didn’t have sex. In retrospect, I should have seen this coming. When we did talk about sexual desires, it was obvious that I masturbated a lot more than he did. While I did it almost everyday, he only did it once a few months.
Within the first week, we were already not having sex as much as I wanted. But since our honeymoon was exhausting and multi-continental, I didn’t say anything.
Then, when we settled in the place where we spent the most part of our honeymoon, I mentioned it but he said he was stressed.
Then we get settled in our home, and I’m still not getting as much intimacy as I would like. He says he is stressed with his job and the fact that I didn’t want to move doesn’t help.
Eventually, reality hits. The level of intimacy that we are having is the level he is comfortable with. It’s not as much as I want, but at least it happens almost every week.
Thing is that by the time this occurred, I have begun having serious self confidence issues. I’ve never felt worse about my body even though I am more fit than before.
At some point during our disagreements about sex, he said it wasn’t his fault that I have high libido that may be caused by my illness. (I have non-classic congenital adrenal hyperplasia, commonly mistaken for PCOS, which messes with your hormones a bit. Combine that with hormonal birth control, it made me very horny. ) That hit me very hard. I have since been trying to prove to myself that I am “normal”.
And in the process, I’ve lost all sexual desire for my husband. I’ve lost the emotional connection I had to him.
We’ve been married for about 6 months now, and I’m tired already. I don’t even know if I should even keep trying. I love my husband, but it gets downright depressing that this is the only person I’ve ever had sex with, and potentially may be the only person I will ever have sex with, and I’m already not enjoying the sex – at all.